sharing ...like writing...

I am finally getting it about sharing. Sharing helps me so much in a number of ways. I get whatever off my chest. I hear myself talking and sometimes if I share honestly and openly ...not worried about what anyone thinks or what is coming out of my mouth....just letting her rip...I hear myself and like when I write this way I discover something about myself. About why I am feeling a certain way. And when it all comes together when I share I find or hear myself with the solution. And I am also learning that when I share I am helping other people in AA. That they may hear something that I say that touches their lives, that they can identify with and open a path to greater understanding for themselves. I love that. That I help myself and people around me. So this is why I write. Same story. All the same things happen. In the best of times when I can just let myself go to the page and write I feel, I become lost in the writing and it is likely the hand of God or my higher power or my genius or whatever we want to call that something that is outside of me. That is not the Lelley trying to be cute or clever or something artificial, just the real true me comes out. I am not clear exactly how this works but I am told not to concern myself with why only that it happens which I know to be true. It has happened for me while writing in the best of times. In my prose fiction and even in my print and tv news writing. And now the best sharing for me is when I let go and just share. Not all head about what I should share...I just pray for God (lately) to speak through me and let go. But truth be told I have only done that a couple of times. Other times it is a combination of figuring out what I will say and then getting lost in my share and somehwere in the sharing I stop trying to share the right share and am just speaking...some other voice or some other place. I want to add right here that with the sharing it took some time to figure out its importance to me and to the people in the rooms. (Amy S first told me that you have to "feel it to heal it" and so I started sharing and crying (lots of crying) because I didnt want that horrible nashing in my stomach. And somehow sharing whatever I was feeling let the twisted feeling come out. Here is what else I want to say. I learned when I was a tv news reporter not to open my mouth during an interview to talk about myself or to insert myself in any way. That I learned was the best way to screw up an interview. Lets say I was interviewing a CEO about his company. And if he said he was a lonely kid and then I said I was a lonely kid too it totally interrupted his chain of thought. I had no business interrupting by inserting myself. I guess thats why we share just keeping the focus on ourselves. So that everyone just listens as we speak and we all gain. Same thing with an interview. I just took the no speak too far. I never interrupted after a while but I thought I should never talk about myself because of the screwing up an interview. But that is so wrong. I now know I can help but only if I speak truly and honestly. Anything else I am wasting everyone's time.