scout

I have a rescue wheaten terrier named scout and she is my favorite dog ever. I am learning a ton from her too. She was in a puppy mill for her first two years of life which in her case means she was kept like a chicken or any other barn yard animal. In a tiny box that measured about 2 feet by 2 feet all alone. My stomach is turning over as I write this and I feel like I should be going into the bedroom where scout is asleep on the huge chair in there that she has taken over as her bed and just petting her. But I know I need to write about it first. She had no contact with other dogs unless she was in heat. Then they would bring a male dog in, she would "have sex" and she would get pregnant have a litter of puppies and she would feed them till they were sold to pet stores. (At around 6 weeks.) She is small for a wheaten probably because they started breeding her as soon as she had her first heat around 6 months. So what comes to mind with Scout is how she never had a real puppyhood. She doesn't really play the way dogs do that I have raised from when they were tiny puppies...for me this is somewhat good because we never had to endure chewed leather shoes, glasses, blankets, you name it whatever I liked best has remained untouched. She doesnt bark either. She apparently had to wear a collar when she was in the puppy mill. The kind that shocked her if she barked. We know she can bark because we heard her bark once. And sometimes in the middle of the night we hear her cry. And when I come home from a long day away she greets me with a sort of strained crying. Trying to bark but to squelch the bark. Anyway it comes out very silently and muted. So the neighbors never get angry because you would never know we have a dog unless you saw her. And she is so incredibly sweet and grateful. She is getting much more confident and she even begs now which we think is wonderful. It makes her seem like a real dog. It is not an overbearing begging, she just sits near us at dinner and looks on eagerly till we give her a bone or something. And she does respond well to food. And she plays with some dogs now when she stays at our pet sitters for day care or overnight if we are away. But much of the time Scout breaks my heart. I hate that they took her childhood away from her, made her cower, and just took a lot of her spirit away. That said little by little she is coming to life. After a walk (which we also had to teach her to do...she did not really even know how to take a walk...) she makes this crazy dash around the house quickly and with great gusto. Glimpses of the dog she was meant to be. And I must identify with her in some way. My childhood of course was much better than hers...anyones was....but I get it. And I am thrilled to be coming back to life. To be making some huge runs around the house in my own way. Now I will go in and rub her stomach. That she adores and is always ready for.